DRANT #278: IRAN: REDDEST HERRING IN THE WORLD

Time to call to order tonight's meeting of the National Association of the Bamboozled, and Fraternal Order of The Red Herring.
Please be seated.
We are now to believe that the newest National Security Estimate (stating that Iran has had No Nukes since 2003), which received its official Foisting yesterday, is a shocking new development, dropped in Bush and Cheney's laps like scalding chicken soup, a day ago -- much to everyone's total slack-jawed amazermunt.

We are to believe that the entire claque of 30-odd intelligence (sic) agencies who We (the group formerly know as ) The People - pay gigantic salaries and tasteless perks totaling enough money to give free health coverage to everyone in the USA , JUST found out that Ahmadinejad is akchewallee Iran's version of Georgie W and the cherry tree.
We are to embrace with brains akimbo- not only that this flabber was just gasted last week, and that not one soul in DC knew a nano sliver about it til now. BUT-
that there was not one single teeny bit of pressure ever ever put on any of the above-mentioned 30-odd super surveillance factories to shut the f**k UP.
That we are to rely for verisimilitude on a certain Steven Hadley- who, need I remind you- invented the WMD.
Well, who could blame us ?
When we settle down at night, in our little yellow pjs with the sheepies and feeties-
who tells us our bedtime stories ?
CNN, The NY Times, Fox, Rupert Madman, The ( no kidding ) Wall F**king Street Journal.
I keep telling ya- when all these guys start bleating one message- ya gots ta ask yourself just ONE question:
What are they selling ?
Ya got ta yell --
What's REALLY going on here ?
Luckily you have Jolly Ole Uncle Dave to sit you down, and blow the emmes to ya.
Ready ?

There never was, and will never be an attack on Iran.
We and Iran are in this together.
As Kleban's cows epiphanated: "Grass ! We're eating GRASS !"
We have been sold the biggest load of dung since Hannibal cleaned up after the elephants in the Alps.
They KNEW all this intel about Iran.
They KNEW there were no Nukes.
They KNEW it was all chazerai squared.
They CREATED the crap- sold it to us-
And now- holey moley !
They unearth the astounding but true revelation that-
there AINT NO NUKES in IRAN.

Does the timing strike you funny ?
Does any of this smell really bad to ya ?
Why are they telling us now ?
Hello ?
There never was, and will never be an attack on Iran.
We and Iran are in this together.

With the help of Iran, we have destroyed the Iraqi political structure.
Installed a Shiite dictatorship killing machine, cum death squads, extermination camps,
prisons, torture chambers.
Iran is Shiiiiiittttttes !!
Do you hear me out there ?
The worstest of the Shi'ia political movers and shakers we have installed in our newly minted made in USA Iraq - spent YEARS in IRAN. They got trained in Iran. They get their MONEY from Iran (and us). They get their weapons from Iran (and us).
There never was, and will never be an attack on Iran.
We and Iran are in this together.
If you fall for this one, then you deserve to spend the rest of your life sitting naked on Diane Feinstein's lap.
But if you're smart, you better check the news from Caracas.
They're the real target.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
REESE ERLICH, rerlich@pacbell.net,
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/opinion/oped/bal-op.iran28nov28,0,5197104.story
Foreign correspondent and author of the new book "The Iran Agenda:
The Real Story of U.S. Policy and the Middle East Crisis," Erlich is
available for a limited number of interviews. He said today: "The NIE
released today has been suppressed by the Bush Administration since
February. It clearly indicates that the White House, and Vice President
Cheney in particular, have been lying about the nuclear threat from Iran
as part of a conscious effort to whip up public support for bombing
Iran. But the 'realist' wing of the White House seems to be prevailing
for the moment. The official press release emphasizes negotiations, not
bombing.
"Yet the U.S. continues its covert war against Iran, using Kurdish
and other minority group organizations to blow up buildings, kill
soldiers and civilians. All factions in the White House continue to seek
the overthrow of the Iranian government, in complete violation of
international law and the 1981 Algiers Accords signed by the U.S. and
Iran, which prohibit political or military interference in the internal
affairs of Iran."

MUHAMMAD SAHIMI, moe@usc.edu
Sahimi is professor of chemical engineering at the University of
Southern California. His articles on U.S./Iranian relations include "The
follies of Bush's Iran policy" -- at
-- which he
co-wrote with Nobel Peace Prize winner Shirin Ebadi. Also: "Norman
Podhoretz's War Prayer,"
.
Sahimi said today: "After nearly two decades of accusing Iran of
having a secret nuclear weapon program, the United States is finally
acknowledging that Iran does not have such a program. This is completely
in line with what the Iranian government has been saying all along, that
its nuclear facilities that have been declared to the International
Atomic Energy Agency are the only facilities that it has, and because
they are safeguarded and monitored by the IAEA, they cannot be used in
illicit weapon activities. The time has come for direct negotiations
between Iran and the United States to resolve the outstanding issues
between the two nations, which will help the peace and stability in the
Middle East."

CARAH ONG, cong@armscontrolcenter.org, http://irannuclearwatch.blogspot.com
Ong is Iran Policy Analyst at the Center for Arms Control and
Nonproliferation and is writing regularly on Iran's nuclear program; her
most recent piece is "Long-Awaited National Intelligence Estimate on
Iran Finally Released." Ong said today: "This NIE, which represents the
consensus view of all 16 American intelligence agencies, says that Iran
halted its nuclear weapons program in 2003 and that the program remains
on hold. This new assessment contradicts the 2005 NIE, which assessed
with 'high confidence' that Iran was determined to have a nuclear weapon
and was working inexorably towards this end."